Thursday, October 13, 2011
I truly am having the worst time finding work as an actress, singer, model, writer, whatever....I wear many hats and am working p/t right now for minimum wage, and I went to college! I live in the New England area and I feel driven to re-locate just to survive. To make matters worse, my very owm childhood friend and cousin is airing her reality show Oct. 23rd, her mother (my aunt by marriage) contacted me about a month ago and acted as if she and my cousin had been trying to find me for years but the one thing I don't understand is why after talking to me neither of them acts as if they even want to catch up with me...and I expressed my struggle and after knowing I am struggling, knowing I do extra work to make ends meet, (am SAG eligible but haven't been able to pay the dues)....basically what I am confused about is why my aunt would call me to tell me how my cousin hired extras to work on her show and why she wouldn't think of me....better yet I've tried so hard to get in touch with them and catch up before I move and feel as though I am a bother b/c I still have yet to talk to my own cousin, with whom I never thought would take so long to call me back, or would have her assistant answer my texts instead of just contacting me herself. Does she forget who we were to eachother, the stuff we have been through? Am I to assume I am the only one who cares about valuing a friendship....? I truly feel that everyone's moment is theirs and I just don't understand why I feel like I am being pushed away.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I have drawn the conclusion that people are self serving and only think the way THEY want to think. They are stubborn and refuse to see another way, an easier way, a more helpful way...a way that makes more sense. Just stick to the same routine....cause that got ya so far, right? I guess I am a little frustrated.